International & Embryo Adoption
by Suzanne M.
My name is Suzanne. I have the blessing to call a wonderful man named Peter my hubby for 19 years. We have been blessed beyond our dreams. First by having such a strong faith in God and His perfect plan and such a deep love for Christ. Second a deep love and respect for one another.
Our IF journey was one that lasted 14 years before ever holding a child. We found out 9 years into our marriage that WE have Sertoli-cell only syndrome...no sperm, missing cells to produce sperm reason unknown. We immediately (THAT DAY) looked into adoption agencies. Eventually God led us to embryo adoption and after being matched with three families, having two frozen embryo transfers ( one families embryos did not survive the thaw) and grieving the loss of 16 adopted embies we were matched with a fourth family of 4 embies. All four embies were thawed and transferred into my uterus...and 4 years after starting embryo adoption we got to hold our daughter Mary.
Though our journey of embryo adoption was long and we experienced some loss -- the verse from Jeremiah 1:5 "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I set you apart." sustained us. It reminded us that God knew these babies each one of them in their smallest of forms and it wasn't anything we did wrong that made us not get pregnant God just chose to call them home. We took great comfort in knowing that each of these lives were now with Jesus and I look forward to seeing them in heaven. Mary has been an absolute blessing and so had embryo adoption when in January 2004 we signed up for a second embryo adoption when while at dinner God whispered to my heart that we were to pursue International Adoption.....thinking that these were fleeting thoughts I began to talk to myself (in my head) and was rationalizing why we shouldn't pursue International Adoption. " It's too expensive, I want a newborn BABY! I WANT TO BE PREGNANT!" when suddenly my dh Peter leans over and says it out loud..."honey I think God wants us to adopt Internationally".
At that moment God took the desires of my heart of pregnancy and newborn. Over the next year HE provided the funds. We signed up for a baby 6 months to a year old from the country of Belarus. This adoption was going so well we had a referral of a little girl Mary's age to be home October 2004! We were feeling so blessed! I packed our bags shopped for gifts when we got a call 2 weeks before travel. The president of Belarus closed all International Adoptions. Though we had an official referral in hand, visas and airline tickets we would not be able to travel. They at the time thought it would just be a few months....instead it has been 2 years and still no sweet Elena. Elena is now 3 and a half years old. If Belarus ever opens we hope to adopt her and bring her home. Giving her crib away was one of the hardest things I have ever done. We will never give up on her. In February 2005 a good friend of mine was hosting a boy on tour from Russia in hopes to adopt him. We were waiting for Belarus to reopen, when I asked my friend if they needed anymore host families. She said they needed a family to host a 12 year old girl and her 6 year old sister..my heart literally leaped for joy! My heart has never done that! I knew we knew their forever family! I called my dh and asked if we could host them..that I knew God wanted us to b/c we knew their forever family. My dh said "well what could it hurt?" My response was "well honey there is a small possibility that WE are their forever family." Well 3 months later I was officially a mom to a 12 and 1/2 year old Anya and 6 year old Galina. They are precious and they are every bit my daughters!
In June of 2006 we began our second journey into embryo adoption thru Nightlight. We were matched with a family before the end of the year and had and embryo transfer of three embryos in February 2007. Shortly after a wonderful Beta I began to bleed heavily. Peter and I were devastated convinced we had lost our precious babies. We went to our RE and he immediately did an ultra sound. We were amazed to see TWO BEAUTIFUL heart beats. I had a major clot that the doctor suspected was from the attachment and then loss of our third baby. For about three weeks we continued to go in to the RE and see our precious babies growing perfectly and their wonderful heart beats. Then one day in March, God laid the name Sarah heavily on my heart. I told Peter I didn't know who Sarah was. I thought long and hard because usually God lays names of family or friends on my heart that I am suppose to pray for. It bothered me enough the next day I mentioned Sarah again to Peter. That day I had another ultrasound scheduled I went in feeling better than previous appointments because the bleeding had slowed down. As I lay on the table I talked to the doctor who was looking intently at the ultrasound screen. I looked over and I could see a perfect baby face. Perfect head, nose, lips, eyes.......and no heart beat. looking at her face I knew this was Sarah. The doctor estimated that Sarah had died within days of our ultrasound. Words cannot explain how we felt losing our precious baby. Dreams of twins was no more. We were so happy our one little baby survived but so sad at losing his twin. By 20 weeks the bleeding had almost stopped. things were beginning to become normal. WE found out our baby was a BOY. We decided on the name Peter Joseph and started the nickname PJ. On October 16th the most beautiful baby boy entered our life via C-section. Within seconds this little man stole his mommies heart. Life has been full of surprises and occasional disappointments. Parenting 3 different ages for the first time ever for each can be a challenge but through the grace of God, His Love and His word we have done pretty good.
I am so honored to be blessed with all four of my children. I am reminded of God's miracles and love everyday through my daughters, my son and my husband. I look forward to growing in His image as a better wife and mother. I pray that God may use me to touch your lives as well.
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