Please Don’t Eat the Daisies, continued!

Parenting changes everything! Erma Bombeck wrote a wonderful book called “Please Don’t Eat the Daisies.” (It later became a movie.) In that book, she talked about things she never thought she’d say to her kids. I, too, have had those moments! How about you?

The following list was compiled by some of the women who participate in the Parenting After Infertility message board! Names of participants follow their submission.

Things I Never thought I’d say:

1. “Spit Jesus out!” (My daughter had put baby Jesus, from our Nativity, into her mouth.) -- Terry
2. “Please don’t gargle in the car.” -- Terry
3. “Get your toenails out of your ear.” (Ok, that one was directed at the dog.) -- Terry
4. "Worry about your own undies please!" (when the kids try to tell each other to change into clean underwear before bed) -- Kelly
5. "Mac, the man in line at the grocery store does not care about your Lightning McQueen pullups." -- Allison
6. “Dear, it's not ok to pull down your pants in church." -- Christina
7. "STOP SAYING CHICKEN. I CAN NOT HEAR THAT WORD AGAIN." -- Christina
8. "No, putting chips in the fridge will not keep them fresh for next week." -- Christina
9. "You can't drink and drive, put that juice box DOWN now." (he was in an electric car) -- Christina
10. "Can you PLEASE stop looking at girls in underwear? You are NOT old enough to look at girls like that." -- Christina
11. "You can't pray to the Easter Bunny." -- Christina
12. "You can't have a wedgie with the front of your shirt. That's only with your underwear. Can you please stop announcing your wedgies?" -- Christina
13. "Yes, I am the best! Aren't you lucky you have the best mom in the world?" -- Christina
14. "You won't get dessert if you don't eat your hotdog." -- Christina
15. “Allie, you may not pet the fish...again!” -- Kelly
16. "Go jump on the bed." (we were cleaning the mattress after a VERY disgusting stomach bug) -- Julie
17. "Please don't stand in the fridge!" -- Kelly
18. "Please don't lick the dog." – Kelly
19. “Please don't lick any part of the subway.” -- Angelina

Author:  Terry (PAI Board of Directors)