Once upon a time…
Isn’t that how the fairy tale starts?
And they lived happily ever after…
Isn’t that how the fairy tale ends?
The handsome prince sweeps you off your feet and carries you away to his castle. Once you adjust to castle life, then come the children, right?
Handsome prince? Check. And let me tell you, he made the dirty cammies look good!
Castle? Check. So it is a 14x70 mobile home, still a castle to me.
Children? Not yet. How is that possible?
After almost a year and a half of separations and reunions, came another round of home pregnancy tests, all negative.
Then, finally, the news we were waiting for. A baby on the way. Eight months later, a daughter was placed in our arms. The fairy tale was back in business.
Another child in a year or so would be welcomed into our home and perhaps another child shortly thereafter. After all, that is how the fairy tale was supposed to go.
Time passed. I began to suspect there were the stirrings of life within me once again. Until I felt the rush of blood passing out of my body. Our tiny child born too soon.
Another separation, another move. This time the prince and I were not living quite so happily together. My longing for another child seemed unbearable. His longing to be single and still married gave rise to many long nights and many tears.
I had long struggled with depression. And this place we were in, this unhappily ever after, seemed as though it would never end.
One day, I drove away. And God drove me back.
The prince and I agreed. I would move back home before he did, if only to try to rescue our marriage. A few days later, I discovered, after a trip to my doctor, that our third child had died. I did not know that our third child was alive until I was told she had died.
The place where we lived was a desolate country. The place I was going was green and lush. Life abounded there. Three months of driving daily through God’s beautiful creation eased the pain I had walled up in my heart. Three months of crying on the way to and from work, wondering if I were going to end up a single mom because of dumb mistakes and selfish attitudes. I cried out to God and He restored my soul. The anger and the bitterness toward my husband began melting away.
Three months later we were reunited, together again, but no longer roommates. We were husband and wife and six months later we were soon- to- be parents again.
Four long years, countless tears, and 2 heaven bound babies later, our second daughter was born. A joy and a blessing. The fairy tale struck again.
We agreed that we would not wait so long to try again, but life has a way of intruding. A year of uncertainty passed with prayers that the prince would return from war unharmed. A year of adjusting to the prince’s return as well as a new home in yet another state led to more tears as we waited.
I told the prince I did not think I could handle the heartache that we experienced before. I wanted to set limits on how long we would try for another baby. Two years I said. The prince agreed. Two months later, God surprised us.
Our third daughter was born in a manner that was quite unexpected, but once again, God showed His amazing plan. He had again prepared us for every step of the way.
Each trial we had a choice. Step closer to God or walk away. Sometimes we did both. Sometimes we chose only to walk away. Through it all God called us to lay down our human desires and asked that we simply desire Him. So what will it be? The fairy tale written by human hands or the Author of the story of your life?
"I am a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mama, and firm believer in Jesus Christ. I rescue baby squirrels because my children don’t want to see the cat from down the street take care of them for me. I have a wonderfully supportive mom and husband who encourage me in my pursuit of photography. Above all, I pray that my life is simply a reflection of God’s glory."
Author's Blog: Have Camera, Will Travel – www.sheridanscamera.blogspot.com