Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Things I Never Expected to Hear (aka, Kids Say the Darndest Things!):

1. “Wow! Now I can get my WHOLE foot in my mouth!” -- Terry

2. “I was standing on the counter because I dropped something.” -- Terry

3. “I did it because God wasn't with me at that moment.” (Nice try, kiddo.) -- Terry

4. "Mom, I'm going to live in Florida and work at Disney. You can come visit me. Well, except on Saturdays because I'll be attacking tornadoes with my sword and light-saber on Saturdays. But you can still stay at my house even if I'm not there." -- Christina

5. "I can't eat. I'm too hungry." -- Christina

6. "OK, I'm ready to build my robot!" (at 1:00 am) "Oh, I didn't know it was the middle of the night. Good night." -- Christina

7. "MOM, there are NO stores that have things for sale that are free. They just want all our money." -- Christina

8. “That soccer coach was really mean. He wouldn’t let me use my hands.” -- Christina

9. "My curiosity got the best from me" - from my 7-year-old when asked why he put his hand in a bird's nest and took an egg out after his father expressly told him NOT to. – Terryl

10. "Mom today I farted 4 times, the first one was at the swings and I was cold but my toot was warm. I was cold but my bahookey wasn't." (Gee thanks for sharing) – Kate

11. "Mom I thought I had to toot, but poop came out." (again her colon is a topic) -- Kate

12. Mom, remember the other day you told me you would explain what those things are? (My daughter (age 8 at the time) pointing at the tampons in Walmart) -- Kim

13. "Hey, MOM! Did you know you can swear with your fingers? WATCH!" (then he couldn't get the right finger up, but i sternly told him we don't do that.) -- Christina

14. My sweet petite daughter said: "Mama, my poop made a puzzle." What? – Laura Beth

15. "Mama, come look! My poop looks just like a dolphin!" -- Kelly

16. "But how does the daddy cat get the babies IN there?" -- Kelly

17. "I am pooper hero! I have Pooper powers!" -- Kelly

18. In response to my question, "so what's the deal-- I put you to bed, and then go back hours later to see your light on and you playing barbies or coloring." After a pause ... "Maybe I'm nocturnal." -- Melissa

19. When asked the other night why she only sleeps on the edge of the bed instead of in the middle or by the wall my 3 year old happily responded, "Because the potato by the wall tickles me at night if I sleep over there." -- Molly

20. "Dear God, please make me a boy so I can wear my crocs to church tomorrow. Amen." (Said Saturday night after I told her she couldn't wear her crocs to church because girls don't wear crocs to church. Guess she took that to mean boys do.) -- Claire