Word Play

 One of our Moms shared this with us today.   Thanks Julie!

* I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
* Acupuncture - a jab well done.
* The Police were called to a daycare where a 3 year old was resisting a rest.
* Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
* A bicycle moves slowly because it is two-tired.
* When she saw her strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
* Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
* To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
* A will is a dead giveaway.
* When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
* A chicken crossing the road - poultry in motion.
* The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
* The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
* A boiled egg is hard to beat.
* When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
* With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
* You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
* He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
* A plateau is a high form of flattery.
* A calendar's days are numbered.
* Horses are alone in their class because they are always out standing in their fields.
* A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
* There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils.
* We will never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.
* Thieves who steal corn from a garden should be charged with stalking.
* The grocery store clerk said you had to go to Office Depot to buy staples.
* When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
* Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
* The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
* A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
* If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
* A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
* In a democracy, it's your vote that counts - in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.