A forever family

~written by Paula P

In April 1995 I married an incredibly wonderful man. In September that year things started going a bit wacky so we decided to come off the pill and do Natural Family Planning. Aunt Flo (monthly cycle) disappeared for a while and we thought, ohhh here we go, but it was a negative pregnancy test. I went to the Doctor and he was convinced I was pregnant and had blinkers on. Over a period of 3 months he had me take over a dozen pregnancy tests. Eventually I said to him “do you think I need to see a Gynecologist?” he replied “that’s a good idea” and wrote me a referral. I never went back to that Doctor again.

We saw the Gynecologist who diagnosed me with PCOS - Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome - and told me not to worry till we wanted to have children then come back to see him. When I asked what it would take for me to get pregnant he replied “oh just a few injections” Whatever!!

I’ll spare you all the details as it is a 12 year journey involving countless doctor’s visits, specialist appointments, Clomid, Metformin, scans, blood tests, Homeopath, Chiropractor, depression, pain, grief, anger, yet no confirmed pregnancy’s but a few suspected miscarriages. We were told a number of years down the track that Mike’s count was not high enough for IUI (Inuterine Insemination) and that IVF (In Vitro Fertilization) was our only option. We did not have the money to pursue this and I did not qualify for the 2 free treatments supplied by the State as I was overweight.

Over these years we had started and stopped the adoption process a few times, but never completed thru to acceptance for various reasons. We ran a children’s camp for 3 years on next to no money, then Mike was at Bible College for 1 year, basically we were not financial enough for their liking. We then took a year off trying and started a business. Once this reached a profitable stage we reapplied to adopt and this time was accepted into the pool with no problem.

In November 2005 we were to adopt our Nephew, we had him with us for 4 nights and 5 days, then his mother changed her mind and came and took him back. My already fragile heart broke into a 1001 pieces. It was soooo hard, but each day got a little better.

In January 2007 we were picked by a birth mother due in April with a little boy. We planned to call him Samuel, a name we believe God gave us years ago for our first son, it means “God has heard”. A few days after Baby Boy was born and before the paperwork was signed, the birth mother changed her mind and did not go thru with the adoption. Once again devastation filled my heart.

We got on with life.

In October 07 we were having a catch up meeting with our Social Worker as we had to update our paperwork. She said that she had a bomb shell for us and we immediately wondered what else could possibly have gone wrong. She said that the birth mother who had picked us in January had tried to raise Baby Boy but was not doing well and CYFS (Child Youth and Family Services) had stepped in and removed Baby Boy from his birth mother. Baby Boy was now in emergency foster care and CYFS asked if we would be prepared to take him, that there was next to no chance of him being returned to the birth mother and that they would transfer custody and guardianship to us. She also told us that the birth mother had called him Samuel. (She was aware that is what we wanted to call him). We had a think about it and discussed the risks involved with a Permanent Placement as opposed to a full adoption (birth mother refuses to give up her parental rights to allow us to adopt him) and then gave our wholehearted “YES”. It went back and forth for a few weeks getting things sorted and extended family approval etc etc etc. On October 23rd we went to the CYFS office to meet and pick up our new son. He was 6 months old. Sam is an absolute delight, it hasn’t always been easy, but I would not change it for the world. Sam is our son, we love him with all our hearts.

On the 08/08/08 the file went to court and Mike and I were granted full custody and guardianship of Sam.

We are back in the adoption pool waiting for baby #2.